Death in the family

It is with great sadness that I announce the death of Satchmo the betta fish. Satchmo passed peacefully in his sleep sometime between Wednesday and Thursday evening at the age of three years. The autopsy results have not yet been released, but no foul play is suspected. Satchmo is survived by his caretaker Cynthia, Tyson the cat, and Daisy the dog. Funeral services were held today in an emotional burial at the swirly sea.

Satchmo will be remembered for his charming good looks and resilience in under less than ideal conditions. He has previously appeared in this publication after overcoming a life-threatening illness. No pictures could be found, but an artist's rendition is shown below.